How to reclaim single status

‘Don’t worry you won’t be on your own for long,’ a well-meaning male colleague said not long after my marital break-up. As though I only have value in terms of my worth to a man. I was in a state of single doom, not singledom in his eyes. He pursed his lips and looked sad. …

How to learn the meaning of home….

Home is not a place. It’s a feeling. A white light flashed on my phone. In my eagerness to hear from a particular someone I picked it up to read the text. The disappointment was crashing; the message wasn’t from the long-awaited contact, but a friend telling me she won’t be in work today. Rather …

How to find love in other ways…

I had my heart broken earlier in the year. It was teenager-y, painful and physically hurt. As per my way of dealing with the situation was to research and read. I knew if I read enough on the subject a way of healing would eventually materialise, and it did. I heard a psychologist talking recently …

How to reprogramme your brain…

If you are lonely when you are alone then you are in bad company. Jean Paul Sartre I’ve had a boyfriend since I was 16, with very limited periods of singledom/doom inbetween and from the age of 14 I’ve been very aware of how I am seen within the context of the male gaze. I’m …

How to go fishing for dates….

Chance is always powerful. Let your hook always be cast; in the pool where you least expect it, there will be fish. Ovid I love random encounters with people. I’ll often give more credence to an opinion expressed by a randomer I’ve just met than members of my own family. So it was a few …